Never fear! I will be back to blogging by the week's end.
Yeah, I know the usual thing to do would be to announce the Bloggy Hiatus at the beginning of the hiatus instead of at the end...but I have hundreds, no thousands, of lame blogger excuses so....I'm automatically excused. :)
On a more serious note, tomorrow -October 19th- is my daughter Cassie's birthday. At first, I thought this day would not be any more diffult than any other day (some days are difficult, some are not as difficult, and so it goes). I even thought it might just be a good opportunity to pull together and share in happy memories with family and friends. Her dad agreed. But as the day quickly approached, our minds began to drift back to birthdays past. These memories brought seemingly endless tears.
Friends from out of state arrived on the scene Friday afternoon in an attempt to make me smile (which was totally sweet and worked) and left Saturday afternoon. One very thoughtful friend actually gave me her excited 4 year old daughter (and my God-child) for the entire weekend, which made setting up the Halloween decorations a much more cheerful production. Yeah, she's pretty smart, and so is her mom.
Despite kind efforts, I fell apart as soon as the house was quiet, Cassie's dad fell apart next and the uber-teen fell apart after that.
The past weeks have been difficult but today we are more hopeful. I guess sometimes you just have to fall apart to get there, but we are reminded that we are not to mourn as if we do not have hope. Clearly there is a difference in mourning the loss of a loved one you are certain you will see again, and we are. This knowledge should enable us to share memories in happiness (even if mingled with tears) instead of just plain old painful tears. So, tomorrow will be filled with family, friends, and happiness (despite the inevitable tears).
It can be no other way.
So, while there is much to learn from all of this, I'd say the most important thing would be to love those in our lives like there really is no tomorrow. We cannot control everything all of the time, but we can control how much we love one another and how much effort we will put forth in showing it while we can. I would also add that even when we are at what seems to be our lowest point in life, all hope is not lost. I believe the latter more today than even this time last year when life was much happier, and I'm still learning.
Moving on..
Some have asked what they might be able to do to honor Cassie's memory on her birthday, and I thought I'd share that with you all as well, just in case any are interested.
Put on your most expensive clothing and go to dinner at the most expensive restaurant you can find (drive 50 miles if need be) and change your mind about exactly where you're going several times before finally settling on the original choice. On the way there, locate a wild-eyed and possibly diseased stray cat on a parking lot who is terrified of your calling kitty-kitty making you have to crawl around on your hands and knees in your best clothes chasing it down. Bite your tongue while others cheer and urge you on despite little kitty's flashing sharp teeth/hissy fits. Once you've set off multiple car alarms and ripped your pants dragging the poor little stray kitty from under an SUV by its tail, decide to skip the dining out. Go instead, straight home to disinfect your wounds and make an appointment with your local doctor and veterinarian, lock the kitty in your bathroom with food, water and litter box then hit the McDonalds drive through. Heh.
If this is not your cup of tea, you could just make a donation to a private animal shelter that does not put stray animals to sleep unless they are not able to save them. If this isn't complicated enough for your taste, you could always make up 20+ wild hypotheticals in order to conclude under exactly what circumstances they may or may not choose to put an animal down, just to be safe. (You should be really cute and aged 2-6 when trying this though, otherwise they'll propably just tell you to go away & close the door in your face.)
On the other hand, were she here with us today, Cassie would also be coloring like mad and making "presnents" to add to packages for service members in war zones. (the last of the few "baby words" I couldn't make myself correct her on because it's just so darn amusing). She'd be breaking out her little pocket calculator to make sure the packages were mailed so they'd be received right at Thanksgiving and Christmas, chattering about what she wanted to be this Halloween (and stilltrying to teach her mommy how to say "I love you" in ten languages). So anyhow, I think sending a service member a package and/or card would be a perfect way of honoring Cassie's memory on her birthday, if anyone feels so inclined. (No pressure, honest.) :)
All that said, I leave you with a funny. This time last year I had all sorts of children over making cards to add to packages for service members (because "cards from kiddies" always seems to go over so well with service members and children alike). One little boy, aged 9, kept spitting. I don't just mean the spit kind of spitting but the super gross sniffy-snorty then spit production kind of spitting. You said it! Ew. After about an hour of the inhumane grossness, I could take no more and finally asked him to "please not spit in my presence". Cassie looked horrified and pulled the nearest open package into her protective embrace and said, "Ew! Don't spit in my presnents either!" *g*
Support our service members - send presnents!
