Saturday, February 02, 2008

The Ugly Truth

I have absolutely no idea what I could possibly say about the current political landscape (except **&^ %^$& ^%$#^ >.< !!!), so thought I'd play around with some photos in photoshop to entertain. Most of you likely remember the B. Walters/H. Clinton kissy/smoochy photoshop job of the past... Like that, only McCain instead of Walters. It's fun and funny, "cos it's true".

This is where I search photos and using Adobe photoshop's clone tool, mesh them together in ridiculously friendly situations - like casting ridiculously dreamy looks toward one another in a hugely exaggerated show of the ugly truth; The man who will most likely be "our guy" next November, is one of "them".

That's not all that funny really, but sometimes... ya just gotta try to find the humor. When there is none, make some up.

Well, what I came across when searching for Clinton and McCain photos isn't a bit funny. I'm not too sure what it is. I didn't even get a chance to photoshop the darn thing!

Just when you thought the truth couldn't possibly get any uglier.

Update : Yeah, that's still not funny. You go here for funny!

(And here for sobering enlightenment.)


BobG said...

I still stand by my statement; I did not photoshop that picture of Queen Hillary. This was her reaction to losing South Carolina.

RT said...

They just have this "yeah, all us politicians are in cahoots" look. This whole crapfest just makes me sick.

linda said...

Hello, fella criminal! I think they look like they're thinking--I can lie much better than you!

bobg said...

Anyone else get the feeling from this picture that McCain has before, if he is not doing so now, hit the Lizard Queen (in the Biblical sense)?

Insolublog said...

Bush just came out and declared he could not support Romney, due to Romney's position on illegal immigration.

I cannot think of a better endorsement of Romney.

fire in the a-hole said...

I Got What America Needs Right Here
By Jimmy Carter
January 9, 2008 |
The Onion Issue 44•02
Sometimes I'm a little stupid, maybe, a little slow in the head, so I'm wondering if you can help me get something straight. Maybe you can help me understand one fucking thing right now, America, and explain to me what in the Christ is going on here. 'Cause, unless I'm missing something, this country is in the middle of a motherfucking shitstorm, and I have no fucking idea what you're gonna do to get out of it. I mean, are you seriously considering voting for one of these shitbags you got here in '08? Fat fucking chance.
Way I see it, America needs a president who's gonna somehow un-royally screw up the Middle East, do some serious cleaning up after you dropped your pants and took a steaming dump all over the fucking environment, and—boom!—restore dignity, honor, and all that shit to these United States.
See, I got solutions to all your problems—I got 'em right here in my big, hairy ballsack.
You better get down on your hands and knees and kiss Jimmy Carter's rosy-red Georgia-peach-picking ass and beg me to run your fucking country again, because there's no way I'm ever gonna come to you fuck-knobs and politely ask you if I might please be a presidential candidate in your precious fuckin' election. So you can just bite my cock. I've had it with you jerkoffs and your jerkoff candidates.
You actually seem to think one a' these assholes is gonna prance in and wave a magic wand and make everything all nice again. Look at you, sitting there like a common fucking schnook and eating all their bull about bi-fucking-partisanship, and how they have all the goddamn answers. Let me tell you something: These fags are dogshit compared to Jimmy fucking Carter, all right? I was arbitrating Mideast crises when this bunch was still sucking on their mamas' titties.
But who comes to me, huh? Fucking nobody. Why ask old Jimmy anything? What the fuck could he know about peace in the Middle East? It's not like he fucking won the Nobel Peace Prize for that shit. You myopic pricks. Back in '79, I sat Sadat and Begin right down and made those two dicklicks shake hands. It was beautiful—I had all the pieces lined up and I smiled and waved in my best fucking suit and tie right there on TV. And what do you do, you pieces of shit? You screw the whole goddamn pooch.
Oh, what's that I hear? The weather's all screwy? You got a global warming problem? Boo-fucking-hoo! I was telling you morons to turn off your lights and unplug all your shit at night to conserve energy in 19-fuckin'-75, for chrissake. Gee, I wonder what woulda happened if we'd all switched to solar power like I fucking did back when we had a fucking chance to do something about it. Think we'd still be sucking Saudi Arabia's dick like a five-dollar whore? I sure as fuck didn't get no fancy Oscar for that little spiel, though, did I? No. But Al Gore, that cum-sucking pig, steals the shit from me and now he's the greatest thing since Jesus Christ made a fucking sandwich.
Well, he can lick my asshole right after George W. Bush, that fuck.
You want compassion? Somebody who's looking out for the little guy? Why don't you take a look at Jimmy Carter, 'cause unlike, oh, every motherfucking candidate out there, he spent the last fucking quarter-century building houses for the homeless. And what does he get for it? A fucking hernia. Some fucking gratitude, you selfish twats. You talk to me about compassion? I'll shove a crucifix so far up the Democrats' asses they'll be asking me to buy them dinner and kiss them good night.
Funny thing about me: I actually fucking know shit! Not like these goombas trying to weasel their way into the White House. I practically wrote the book on collapsing bridges, inflation, and the working poor, fuck-o. I even got a degree in nuclear engineering or some shit. You know how easy I could swoop down right now like a guardian angel and solve all your fucking problems? Snap. Bam. Do it in my fucking sleep. Just fucking try me.
So you want me to run for president again? Yeah, sure, absolutely, I'll do it. I'd be honored to do it—with my fucking dick in your mouth, you worthless scumbags.
You had your chance with Jimmy Carter, and you fucking blew it. So get fucked. Fucking country.

Uber said...

Figures. I get that moonbat I always wanted to toy with just about the time I'm back in school and don't have time I'd love to give it.

bobg- I thing you just broke the uglometer there!

rt- It is very difficult to find words. Sickening is the closest fit. Keep catching myself pulling a face (that inspires Fox bark at me) every single time I look at that photo.

Insolu- I am almost afraid to let myself hope really, but I guess it could happen. It is ironic that every time someone right of center opens their mouth to criticize him, his status as a candidate elevates w/me a little more!

I also noticed he has risen well above Huckabee recently (the moment McCain took the lead) in private "fundy" polls I've been privvy to.

Ssssteve said...

Is that guy for real about Jimmy Carter? You got to be kidding me? quite possibly the worst President EVER! what an idiot. You know something ain't right when you cuss that much. pretty soon it's just noise.

Uber said...

I know. Jimmy Carter. hehe

The funny is so strong even the overly generous use of vulgarity can't take from it.

This, from Redwood, Washington.