Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Crazy Like a Person Who Doesn't Want a Plague

This fine Tuesday morning, August 28th, I woke to the uber-teen asking, "Well, it won't kill him will it?" in reference to making the uber-boyfriend the promised Philly cheese steak for lunch from leftovers that she forgot to refrigerate before going to bed. The sad thing is, he'll likely think about it just a second, shrug and eat it anyway.

This, just after waking the previous horrible (evil Monday) morning to pizza crust and Doritos strewn about the kitchen, the table full of unfolded laundry (and don't ya just know, shedding kitties lounging in the middle of it). I became very animated and said, "Oh my God, I can't live this way!" and would have run to choke down a "happy pill", were I one to partake in such. The uber-teen, leaning nonchalantly against the contaminated counter munching day old pizza crust, offered me the unwashed coffee cup I'd used the day before and cheerfully replied, "Oh, c'mon. Don't be so dramatic, it's not that bad. Have a cup of coffee! :)"

Last night, I dreamed I stabbed bacteria as big as your head with the new X-acto knife I'd purchased for a design project earlier in the evening. I was screaming, "4.0!" with every thrust of the blade.

However, all is not lost. This is just the beginning of my second week of this "back to school, working and parenting" thing. I will merely stay up 24-48 hours getting all my assignments completed early, don the space suit and spend the rest of the week religiously following correct contamination procedures and bulldozing my kitchen.

The uber-teen and uber-boyfriend however, ages 17 and 19, are happy as can be to continue on the dangerous path (leading to food poisoning) that they're on. They'll probably some day look back fondly upon these college years, writing happy songs/poetry about it even.

How do college students survive it all?

18 comments:

RT said...

KIDS! ;P

My mom just tried to offer me leftover chicken from Saturday. Hmmm....I think she wants my life insurance money.

Uber said...

That is suspicious behavior.

Quick!

You should put a trusted friend (who lives in NC) as your beneficiary instead. (How much bread are we talkin' here anyhow?) haha

Ssssteve said...

Make them clean up after themselves! Sheesh! And that is the Dad coming out in me! HA

RT said...

She did say a few weeks ago that her circumstances would improve if something were to happen to me. I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING!

It's nice to be appreciated, eh?

linda said...

I agree with Dad. Make them clean up after themselves. Make a chart, if needed, so people can't say they forgot! You are the mom, not the maid. They are not only old enough to do it, they need the experience for the future. Crack the whip, Uber.

linda said...

Btw, good luck, college student! No staying up late! ;)

Uber said...

Ssssteve- Good point, I'm being way too soft just because they're taking more courses than myself, working full time, and running all my errands! *g*

RT- Yes it is! That shouldn't be funny but there it is, nonetheless.

Lin- Ya had me at "make a chart". I was just doing that today (starting with myself). Funny thing is, while making my own schedule... I put "make lists and schedules at the top of my list" then later discovered that making schedules wouldn't fit into the schedule. Oo

linda said...

Glad to know you are surrounded by helpful people!

Congrats to the new mom!

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Ahhh...to be young again.

And, likewise, congrats to the new mom!!

Insolublog said...

Last night, I dreamed I stabbed senator Tom Harkin in the head with the new X-acto knife you purchased for a design project, ooooh, I'd say about a month ago.

I was screaming, "Uber would love this!" with every thrust of the blade.

Uber said...

Is it a little hot in here or what??

Thanks for sharing, Insolu. *g*



So sorry I'm MIA everyone, ya know how it is. Be back when I can!

spacemonkey said...

we m you.

Stew Magoo said...

ahem

Post something soon or I'll send Spacemonkey more horrible Stew art...

Peakah said...

...like I've always said, if you remember your college experience, you weren't there...

thought I'd drop by.

Uber said...

M you too Mister Spacemonkey!

What have you been up to, Stew? Did I miss something? Oo Almost Thanksgiving break, hoping to have time to post soon. Can I get a "hooray"?

Howdy Peakah! Nice to see you around, hope the family is well!

Stew Magoo said...

Merry Christmas Uber (I have the photos you sent last year up)!

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Merry Christmas Uber, to you and yours.
Hope all is well.

Let us know how you are, please.
And tell Insol to throw us a bone, too!

God bless.

Fiar said...

I'm a little slow on the uptake, but I hope you had a Merry Christmas. I hope to hear from you again soon.