Ten Fun Ways To Celebrate The Fourth Of July!

10. Go see War of the Worlds and wonder just how much of the plot Tom Cruise believes to be reality. Stand outside the theater afterward and try to convert movie goers to The Church of Scientology by offering them free lie detector tests and lifetime supplies of fresh Mafia-like quotes.

9. Go see Bewitched and wonder what the heck the writers were on. Focus on Nicole Kidman’s bewitching nose wiggle (it’s the best thing about the movie). Stand outside the theater afterward and try to convert movie goers to the religion of Wicca by offering them free scented candles and lifetime supplies of bat sh*t for insta-spells.

8. Read The Declaration of Independence. In the street in front of your home from atop a trash can or the hood of your vehicle.

7. Position multiple United States flags about your yard and vehicle to honor America. And to irritate liberal neighbors.

6. Put a speaker in an open window, play and sing along with patriotic songs at the top of your lungs. While hanging multiple U.S. flags about your yard and vehicle to honor America. And irritate liberal neighbors.

5. Throw a BBQ and get everyone a little toasted. Convince guests that your liberal neighbors would appreciate it if everyone would break into military cadence every time they look out the window or step outside as this is their customary tradition in celebrating the 4th of July.

4. Purchase your own legal fireworks to entertain the entire neighborhood. And irritate liberal neighbors.

3. Drive far to purchase illegal...oops I mean undocumented... fireworks to assist you in #4. (I don't condone this behavior and don't know you if you are caught.)

2. Set fireworks off in liberal neighbor’s yard then run into your house and turn off all the lights. (I don't condone this behavior and don't know you if you are caught.)

1. Fun combinations of all of the above!