Sunday, July 24, 2005

What, Exactly, Are The DNC's Values?

Now I think we all know what values are but for argument's sake the definition is- something (as a principle or quality) that is intrinsically valuable or desirable.

It isn't really that hard to figure out what Republican and Conservative values are because they are traditional values. Since the definition of traditional is- an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (as a religious practice or a social custom) in addition to the handing down of information, beliefs, and customs by word of mouth or by example from one generation to another without written instruction AND the cultural continuity in social attitudes, customs, and institutions, I think it's pretty safe to say that we are all well versed in exactly what type of values the RNC and Conservatives speak of when using the phrase traditional values.

Using the the word "traditional", an adjective, clearly defines what type of values they deem valuable and desirable. Though we are a diverse group of individuals from all different walks of life (differing in various opinions and personal beliefs), I think most of us can agree on the most basic traditional values or at the very least these values don't make us want to puke. Which is good. But more importantly, we at least know exactly what type of values our party stands for and can clearly define them for ourselves as well as others.

While researching the DNC's official website in an attempt to answer the simple question "What, exactly, are Democratic and Liberal values?" I discovered that this simple question doesn't have a simple answer at all. My attempt to answer this question was completely unsuccessful but I did learn two things.

First, although we hear the word "values" spilling out of the collective rectum of the left quite often, they are extremely elusive about defining the type of values they espouse.

Perhaps they are merely clean out of adjectives. In the tradition of charity, as is the tradition of my culture, I'll be passing round a collection plate in the comments section for any who would like to donate adjectives to the DNC so that they might be better able to define their values. Now ya'll dig down deep and give plenty! ;)

Second, I learned that this adjectiveless band of lefties are coming after my home state of North Carolina. Uh-huh ya read that right, folks. They're coming after us! I'm not really sure what to make of it all just yet as this has only just now come to my attention but I'll bet ya'll are thinking exactly what I'm thinking right now...INFILTRATION!

Sure this idea is only half-baked and I'm not even sure why I would want to infiltrate the DNC but it is the most obvious first thought that comes to mind upon discovering the loons are attempting to take one's state by storm. I really like the word infiltration too. If nothing else, infiltrating the DNC would give me an excuse to use that word quite often when reporting events here on my not so brand spankin' new but still shiny blog. Or maybe I should just pretend to infiltrate and totally make stuff up to report on the DNC's progress in North Carolina. heh

I ask you, my fellow bloggers and faithful readers (though few you may be) who make up in honor (and funny, can't forget the funny!) what you lack in numbers, what do you think?

Can I wreak any havoc by infiltrating the DNC? Is there any chance of gaining any valuable information at all by infiltrating the DNC? If all we've to gain are some laughs (maybe some funny photos too lol), will it still be worth the trouble? When imagining how I might manage to fit in with the wacky minions of the DNC, why does a hat and sun glasses keep coming to mind? And black sluethy tights as well. Hooray for black sleuthy tights! This alone should make it all worth my time but what might happen if I accidentally jump up alluvasudden like and yell "Karl Rove Rocks!!!" These things do happen, there is much to consider.

Please, share your thoughts, comments, and infiltration tips. And don't forget about that donation plate!

The Uber-Conservative here-signing off to dream in la la land of providing adjectives for the adjectiveless and changing the needy liberal at a time.


Dr. Phat Tony said...

Having been a LRS soldier and knowing about infiltration, I would suggest stop shaving and showering. This is a sure fire way to fit in to most DNC conventions or liberal colleges. Next if something good is happening in the world it's a Karl Rove trick; If something bad is happening in the world, it's a Karl Rove conspiracy. Practice saying those two things you'll fit right in.

Uber said...

Thanks for the tips but eewwww. Could be harder than I thought.