Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Abort, Retry, Ignore?

Let's just file this one under Wednesday madness.

Abort, Retry, Ignore?

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets.
Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer,
I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store,
Only this and nothing more.

Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing,
Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more.
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
"Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before.
Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises.
The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more.
Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more,
From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key.
But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before.
Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore,
Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard.
I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore.
Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations,
Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before.
Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before.
Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted.
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night.
A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core.
The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore.
Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go.
What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored,
Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes?
But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more,
You will be one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore,
Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"


The Conservative UAW Guy said...


The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Love the poem, too.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt...

Uber said...

Dang, I didn't even get a stinkin' t-shirt.

Just a blank screen, oh woe is me.

K, I'm over it. Thanks for stopping by to watch me cry! *g*

Stew Magoo said...

Would I jinx it if I exclaimed that you're back? Thank GOD.

Poem's pretty funny. Tell me you didn't write that because talent looks AND wit like that and my head'll exploid.


Oh and try linux (I couldn't resist)...

Uber said...

People write things anonymously for a reason!! Silly Stew...

That said, you had better be careful going about feeding poetic egos or someone may end up(donning a beret) here on the blog on a weekly basis (rage against the machine, government monopolies, the telephone company... ya know how it is). haha

Linux = no mo Quicken (and honestly, I know only just enough to be dangerous)!

Stew Magoo said...

One word; wine (google "linux wine" you'll see)

Oh and I will feed that ego until I'm completely shameless.

Wait, I'm already completely shameless!