President Bush should nominate me, The Uber-Conservative, for Supreme Court Justice!

OP-ED by The Uber-Conservative
30 October 2005


"You should stop complaining and be grateful that you can pee on trees! If I were a man, the first thing I'd do is pee on something. Then I'd always pee wherever I pleased."




As witnessed by incredible doubt and controversy across the political spectrum, the nomination of Harriet Meirs was clearly a poor choice for Supreme Court. While she deserves our recognition for showing grace throughout the process and dignity in her withdrawal, it is time to ask, "What will President Bush do now?"

What should he do? You're in luck, I have the answer.

President Bush should nominate me, The Uber-Conservative, for Supreme Court Justice!

After I worked tirelessly and selflessly to get him nominated, he owes me big time. I missed meals to get out the vote for President Bush. I let my own work slide, gave up sleep and romance even. There were so many homes I visited on election day just to hear "Oh my gawd, is that today? Mamma, git yer shoes on!"

That was a really long day, waiting on election results. I laughed, I cried, I smudged my mascara. OK, so most of that was due to witnessing the live election blogging over at I.M.A.O, but still, I'm pretty sure I aged more than is normal throughout the reelection process. Then, after it was all over and it at least seemed likely that President Bush would eventually be confirmed, I went to the Bush reelection store online to buy one of those cute little tan cowgirl hats with the W on the front just to discover that they were all sold out and apparently not restocking. I couldn't even find one on E-Bay.

I didn't even get a stinking hat, Mr. President!

Ahem. Anyhow, just like Harriet, Bush owes me plenty. Moving on...

I would make a better candidate in the way that not only does President Bush owe me, but I've more in the way of evidence for others to evaluate my nomination. In deciding if my ideology passes mustard, there's my blog as well as personal quotes by and about me from friends, family, and past employers. My educational background may seem a little murky at first, because I was home-schooled for the most part and then privately tutored by an artiste who screamed "Me muse! Where's me muse?! I need me muse!!!" outside my apartment until I got a restraining order, but there is at least some educational documentation. I'm also presently taking a DL course in Constitutional Law, just because I'm interested and not only because it was on sale. Hey, it's not nothing. And unlike Miers, "I" am more than willing submit this information for dissection. Go ahead, question a home-school mother on the validity of her child's education and a crazy artiste about his "muse" (that should take care of all my critics).

To quicken the process of my nomination, I asked a few family members, friends, and past employers to go on record with some things I've said that stand out in their mind the most as well as provide some personal comments about me.

Things the Uber said to me that I couldn't forget, even after years of prayer and/or heavy drinking-

To a group of teenaged girls on the subject of the hotness of Slim Shady-

He is a weenie! A real woman would eat that boy for breakfast then demand sausage!!" (With a fist slam to counter-top.)

To a group of Army tankers in an in-depth discussion of soldiers' having to urinate in odd places while serving the great United States of America.

"You should just stop complaining and be grateful you can pee on trees! If I were a man, the first thing I'd do is pee on something, then I'd always pee wherever I pleased!!"

To a group of gay men-

"I'd never ever date a wussified liberal man. Geez, if I'm going to hell for dating liberals anyhow, I may as well just date a woman and get the real thing."

To a friend just seconds after being sick (due to only three beers)-

"My gosh, would you look at that. My makeup is still perfect! I look fabulous!!"

To a group of friends in an interesting debate on the differences between a lush and a sot-

"A sot stands on a street corner begging for money to buy that cheap bottle of 8-ball which they will drink straight from the bottle all alone. A lush will draw a large crowd doing as many expensive shots as others in the crowd will pay for, most of which require one to not touch the shot glass with their hands."

To friends on the subject of the appropriateness (or not) of drinking wine-

"As far as I know, nobody ever changed wine to water. There's a reason for this!"

Quotes about The Uber from family members, friends, and past employers-

Previous Boss man, showing Uber owns the word reliability-

"New to the dry town, I once asked Uber the location of the nearest liquor store in a neighboring town because my wife had asked me to bring home a bottle of wine. Everyone laughed at her quick reply and I later discovered that it was because not only was she new to the area as well, but probably couldn't find her way home without assistance, yet was able to instantly direct others to the nearest bottle of wine. As a Catholic this so greatly impressed me that I promoted her repeatedly.

Gay/Liberal Best Friend, showing The Uber is very tolerant-

"I'm always on the edge of my seat just waiting to hear what exciting bit of uber-conservative wisdom she'll fearlessly spout in public to get me beat up over next."

Person Who Takes Driver's License Photos at the DMV, showing Uber's ability to deal with government employees, instill a drive for quality, sway other's opinions, and worth a risk-

"When the first driver's license photo didn't turn out very well, Uber not only sweetly told me that I had what it took to be a professional photographer but encouraged me to try again and again. She also showed me how to say witty things before snapping the photo. Her third driver's license photo was just perfect! I also let her have the other two copies to keep even though I risked being fired just because she's so Uber, totally worth the risk, and asked so sweetly.

Older Brother by one year, showing The Uber's endurance in adversity, even from a young age, as well as the ability to forgive others-

I once accidentally kicked Uber hard, heel to nose, while showing her a new Karate move when we were teens and I saw her reaching for her boot knife as I ran away. Later after she cooled off she said, "That's OK, you gotta sleep sometime big boy!" I didn't sleep for days until I discovered that she'd forgotten all about it and wasn't still staying up at night plotting my demise.

Mother of 33 years, proving Uber's ability to not allow herself to be easily swayed by other's opinions, questions other's motives, and embraces traditional family values-

"That girl put every gray hair I've got on my head with all her opinions and questions about my opinions. On the subject of my getting older and requiring care, she promised to never put me in a nursing home, but instead, to lock me in a closet with a PC to play Yahoo! Literati night and day. Fine by me, say I. Oh, she's also stubborn and is just like her dad only more petite, better looking, and way nicer smelling."


83 yr old Grandmother who now resides with Uber, proving the Uber's traditional family values once again-

"She's such a good girl really. Always coming around to help me out, talk and joke. We have the most fun together, so I wanted to stay with her in case I start forgetting things as I get older. Some of the kindest people I ever knew were a bit lacking in morals, you know. My son, the one in the Air Force who everyone says is my favorite but isn't because I love all my children equally, I had 7 children you know. Anyhow, he got this new car, just like the one down the road there only it's not green and has four doors instead of two. It's shaped a little different too. But it's the same car Uber has been wanting but can't afford because she paints and takes pictures for a living and I don't reckon there's much money in that. He's so sweet he brought it over for her to see three different times now already. He's such a good boy. Anyhow, what was I saying?


Grandmother's thoughts on The Uber (when she was 21 years of age) for more perspective on the ideological development-

Uber is so pretty and smart too. Girls weren't so smart when I was that age, we hardly ever made it all the way through high school, boys didn't either though. There was work to be done, kids grew up fast. I always made good grades and was double promoted but I decided to get married before I finished school. I'm so happy Uber got a good education. It just don't make much sense to me why a girl as pretty as her with such a pretty figure isn't married yet. Maybe she should learn to cook. She's just like her grandpa with nary a penny nor a cigarette come the end of the weekend. Only he didn't jump from job to job.

Father of 33 yrs, showing Uber is able to debate, standing strong in her opinions-

She's just like me, only she sticks to what she knows is right and never pulls a 180 degree change in her argument just to infuriate her opponent and amuse herself. That's a little disappointing, but I'm still holding out some hope on that one. She once asked me if she needed to be bitchier in order to be respected like Ann Coulter and I told her no, she just needs blonde hair. And way longer legs. She's so darn cute when angered. To this day she does not know whether or not I support abortion but I've caused her to go on for hours and hours as to why pro-life women need men to stand up and help them on this issue, which she says "isn't just a woman's issue" at all. That woman's issue comment makes her turn blue. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Ha ha.



Speaking of legs, I'd like to wrap this up by sharing my thoughts of choosing a nominee based purely on gender.

That's just plain wrong, whether in choosing a man or a woman.

I think President Bush should just choose the nominee who is the most qualified individual individual. Obviously someone who conservatives will want to support as well. Who cares what liberals want? They won't be happy with anyone's ideology to the right of Nancy Pelosi and would likely cry about it even if Nancy Pelosi's evil and even more liberal twin was nominated, just because that's who they are.

However...

...if President Bush is going to choose a nominee based solely on her gender, he should at least use a sensible method of choosing femininity. Whose legs would look best under that robe, my fellow conservatives?

Mine would, I say!






And I do not want to hear that Ann Coulter has longer legs and blonde hair. Does Ann Coulter even talk to you people?! No! She never answers your comments or e-mails, so just shut up with all of that!

So then, it's settled. President Bush should nominate me, The Uber-Conservative, for Supreme Court. Because my legs will look nice under that robe and he owes me.

I'll be needing all you conservatives out the in the blogosphere to help prop me up and get that nomination, just the same as you took Meirs down.

Or at least get the danged hat for me, that works too.

Now get out there and make it happen!

Extreme Pumpkin Carving

Tom Nardone, of ExtremePumpkins.com, brings us pumpkin carving...you guessed it...in the extreme.

From his extreme pumpkin carving website-

"At what point did the carving of pumpkins turn into a "cute" event? When did boys stop carving pumpkins and moms start? Where did we lose touch with one of the years coolest events?

Today we will seize back this ritual. Today is the day we throw away those safe, cute carving tools. Today. We will buy a big, ugly, pumpkin so large one man cannot lift or move it. Today. We will carve that sumbitch into something ugly and plop it on the front porch. October 31st we will light it brightly enough to give visiting children suntans."

Along with a photo gallery full of many extremely well carved pumpkins like the Electrocution Pumpkin (lit with a road flare) and the Flame Job Pumpkin (carved using a router and jig saw), Tom presents a video display of three foot flames shooting from a pumpkin.

Have fun and remember, Halloween just isn't Halloween til someone loses a finger! :)

Dr. Phil Fibs? Oh noes!

Found at the website of HSLDA.

It would appear that Dr. Phil did indeed either publicly tell a fib or made certain statements based on faulty information that someone else told him existed. Either way, he's not personally laid eyes on the fabricated research he personally said exists. The only remaining question is, will he be a man and publicly correct this fib/error? If so, will he say it really fast like they do the side effects on Viagra and Zoloft commercials (you know, if I weren't depressed already I'm pretty sure dry mouth, insomnia, sexual side effects, diarrhea, and nausea would do the trick and as bad as I would feel for someone showing up at the ER with something that shall remain nameless lasting longer than four hours, the thought still amuses me every single time)? Or will he just run a correction in tiny print with the credits after the show? Perhaps he'll just ignore all the emails and letters I'm certain he's receiving.

I don't watch Dr. Phil all that much and I've really no opinion about him as a person at all. I do, however, find it interesting enough to watch and see what someone who advises others on their own personal behavior (for a living) does in such a predicament.

New Alliance Filthy Lie Assignment: YAY! We're Nazis!

I think this one's like the popular TV game show, Jeopardy. Someone else tells the filthy lie, The Alliance responds with a question, so it is sort of like that, only without that maddening music that gets stuck in your head.



"Why does The Alliance logo resemble a Nazi symbol?"



Well, let's explore symbols and their history in general to see if we can find the answer!

"Symbols form the treasure in the realm of shadowy thought." --Kant


Birds in general have been used as symbols from our earliest known history. The ancient Egyption sun gods, Ra and Horus, had the bodies of men and the heads of birds. In Christianity birds signify the presence of God. The dove signaled the presense of the Holy Spirit at the time of Christ's baptism, the mother eagle in caring for its young, and the sparrow signifies God's concern for the most insignificant living things. The flight of birds inspired the Wright brothers. There are an abundance of bird symbols in modern culture as well. Take America's symbolizing of the bald eagle and the Black Hawk helicopter for examples. The bald eagle, with its stunning acrobatics and ferocious hunting skills is a regal symbol of America and freedom.


The eagle, in particular, has been used sybolically from the earliest civilizations as demonstrated by early cave paintings, until today. From sacred or mythological to national symbols, the symbolization of the eagle shows that it has always and continues to inspire mankind's imagination, which is why I imagine so many use this as a symbol, including The Alliance.


The star, another symbol used in The Alliance logo, has been used to symbolize everything from the star of David to Islam's crescent moon and star. Speaking of Islam: Likening The Alliance to Hitler's Nazism, due merely to the use of an eagle and a star in the logo, is more ignorant than likening the Muslum use of the crescent moon and star to worship the sun, moon, and sky as did peoples of Central Asia and Siberia or Carthoginian goddess Tanit and Greek goddess Diana. The ancient celestial symbolism pre-dates Islam by several thousand years. It wasn't until the Ottoman Empire that the crescent moon and star became affiliated with the Muslim world. The crescent moon and star symbol is exactly like that which was a pagan symbol of the past and the only likeness The Alliance logo shares with Nazi symbolism is an eagle, a creature which has been symbolized many times over by many different cultures throughout history, including Americans.

The attempt to paint an entire group of freedom loving people with that lefty Nazi brush is not only weak and silly but not a bit surprising or unexpected. I sure wish they'd pull out some new tricks, I'm getting bored with them. (Entertain me, lefties! I must have me entertainment!)

Now, I must go carve a pumpkin and feed my cats, three of which are named Thor, Logi, and Loki. One of which is black. Oh my, I must be a Norse witch! AHHHHH!



The Eagle

He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ring'd with the azure world, he stands.

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.

---Alfred Tennyson (rocks!)

A Question for the Wise...

...and you people who read my blog too. ;)

What is the single most important change you'd make on behalf of the United States of America if you were in power and/or anyone actually listened to you?

Personally, I'd probably totally abolish Monday, especially after yesterday's "adventures". Monday is and has been out to get me since I learned what the days of the week actually were, but yesterday topped anything I've ever seen or experienced. Sometimes Tuesday or Wednesday gets confused and thinks they're Monday but can normally be slapped back into submission by around noon.

What a typical Monday offers Uber's world-

*Wake late to five hungry cats and two hungry dogs.

*All but one hungry dog (who just wants outside to tinkle and howl) run around my feet, tripping me up, while I try to at least get the coffee started before dealing with them all.

*Dancing around, animals under my feet begging, with a coffee pot full of really cold water that I'm spilling and stepping in, soaking me fluffy warm socks because I was in such a hurry that I forgot to powder mah nose before running to make coffee.

*Decide to feed at least the cats before the powder trip because they'll just follow me and fight with one another on the other side of the door if I'm lucky and make it inside with me to climb to the top of my head if I'm not.

*Dancing around with a 20 pound bag of cat food while two cats put their heads in the bowl making the food spill over them into the floor and the other three fight amongst themselves (they don't all like one another all that well but everybody loves the baby, Magellan because he doesn't care what's done to him. He calls it love and comes back for s'more).

*Skip the usual lesson in kitty tolerance and just start pouring multiple piles of kitty chow here and there all over the clean floor to be cleaned later.

*Run for that powder (at last, at last!) then feed the cocka-poo, Shadow, who smells it, steps back, and sits down pouting for cat food. Remembering the mess in my bedroom floor I decide to just let her pout awhile and fix her up with the forbidden cat food later.

*Walk backwards outside dragging the 30 pound bag of dog food, decide there must be a better way and attempt to throw it over my shoulder once on the porch. Throw it right over my shoulder and over the banister instead, splitting the bag open way too much.

*Carry the food to where the dog bowl is supposed to be, spilling it all the way. See the dog bowl half chewed in the middle of the yard and go to it with the food for some unknown reason instead of the other way around, spilling it all the way.

*Lose grip on the bag, that's split open way too much, while pouring. Burying the doggy bowl with an entire 30 pounds of dog chow.

*Lay the bag down, drop to my knees and start digging for the bowl while one year old Zeke, Australian/German Shep sits by watching with a quizzical eyebrow raised, there be no less than 100 yrs of wisdom and sarcasm in that dog's eyes. I tell him that I wouldn't be looking so superior if my owner had to photoshop my excitement out of every single photo before posting them in the public photo gallery and turn to retrieve the bag in order to salvage at least a little doggy chow before every dog in the neighborhood arrives for breakfast. Look down, no empty bag. See the neighbor's basset hound streaking up the yard with the empty bag. I've never seen this dog streak anywhere, not even when I'm fussing and threatening about the doggy poo in my yard or chewing of things like the grill cover, but streak he did. Don't get me wrong, I love this dog regardless of his driving me mad but he really and honestly isn't normally the motivated sort.

Duke's "I really care" look when I'm stressing and fussing about something he chewed or a smelly gift he left on the lawn-

(On an unrelated note, notice the lawn in the background. That's what happens when you purchase the Murray riding lawn mower which I've griped about before. The deck drags, it's not pretty, the belt also slips off really, really, often.)

*Anywho, two more neighbor's dogs were waiting outside the fence for Duke to arrive with the oh so coveted and yummy bag. Each grabbed a corner of the bag with their teeth and disappeared into the crazy fruit tree people's wooded farm across the road to chew into a million little pieces. And blame it on me, no doubt.

Extra shiny presents that Monday (yesterday) offered Uber's world-

*Woke freezing, the breaker kicked in the middle of the night. Meh.

*Open to empty the new dishwasher that's been working just fine to notice there were still gobs of soap all over and a huge puddle of water on the floor beside. Grr.

*Wash a load of clothes to feel yet some more water soaking into my no longer warm and fuzzy socks in the laundry room as well. Had a real "What the hell is that...what the...(pause to consider another more flowery word)...hell (decided against) is that?!" moment. Grrr!

*Only a hot shower could make me right enough to deal with what was looking like would turn out to be one helluva complicated day so decided to forget everything else and just do that first. Turn on the water, wait patiently on the water to get hot. Get uncomfortably cold while waiting, does it always take this long, I wondered while already knowing the answer. Dance around freezing between testing the ice cold water that I eventually realize will not be getting warm much less hot. Redress, and go back in the laundry room to see that the hot water heater is the source of the water on the floor. At least I know why the breaker kicked, and the dishwasher is an easy fix, just a hose come loose beneath. Can kick all the breakers back on except the one. I have heat, power, water, and hot coffee waiting. It could be worse, really. *sigh*

*Pour one of those ridiculously large coffee cups that look like salad bowls with handles completely full of that steamy life-saving brew, ignore the fact that I spilled a good bit on the counter and dripped all the way to the PC. Who cares at this point. Sit back after getting all comfortable in the brand spankin' new leather chair and hold that big ole cup with both cold hands close to my chest preparing to sip when Magellan lept suddenly from some unknown location, landing onto the back of my chair, causing me to spill it all over my blouse. @&%*...@&%*...@&%*!!!!!!

I survived to tell the tale, thank heavens, though Tuesday has been all about recovering from Monday. Were it not for the need to just abolish Monday, my second choice would be removing all Federal and state involvement (read: control) from education, giving all control back to parents and local communities. The Dept of Education would be completely dissolved, subversive teacher's unions would eventually belly-up and disband. The less wealthy of this nation would once again be as well educated as they were (through parental control/involvement and community control/involvement) before the creation of the failing government schools. I understand that many honestly hope that public education will offer equal opportunity but it hasn't and will never. Children of public schools have merely become more equal in the lack of opportunity as well as equally uneducated.

Again, I ask (just in case the ranting above caused numbing of the mind yet did not cause blindness), what is the single most important change you'd make on behalf of the United States of America if you were in power and/or anyone actually listened to you?

Pimpin' The Patriot

The Federalist Patriot Digest"Top of the Fold"

"Pandemic kills ??? million worldwide...
In recent weeks, news of the latest outbreak of "bird flu" has gained currency in the mass media. Some suggest there is nothing to fear, while others warn that hundreds of millions may be in peril. The truth is that either scenario is possible -- which is to say, the real issue is one of probabilities."

Read more.

You must log in to read the current issue in its entirety. Subscribing is fast and easy. If you do not subscribe and read the article in its entirety, you'll miss "the plan". This is a pretty shiny plan so providing a separate link just in case.

Recommended Action Plan for Mitigating the Consequences of Natural or Attack Catastrophe on Your Family and Community


Also from The Federalist Patriot.

"REPRINT AND FORWARD POLICY: Subscribers may reprint or forward The Patriot, in whole or part. If reprinting to another publication, please include the appropriate citation "The Federalist Patriot (FederalistPatriot.US)" in accordance with our Subscriber/User Disclaimer. (For questions, contact our legal department at: Legal@FederalistPatriot.US)

Fun Stuff Saturday- Yay!

The debates are on. To participate, or not, in Halloween.

I have a confession to make.

I love Halloween!

I love the costumes and the late nights. I love the kids and the candy. I love the decorations and all the time spent decorating (for the children, of course heh). I love the fall breeze, the scent in the air, and the trip to the pumpkin farm, especially since I've moved to the country this past year and can walk or bike ride the distance. I love the Fall Fesitival that comes the week before and of Halloween. I love working late nights the week before on some new amazing piece that will lure prospects into my web...er...gallery (mwahahaha). My spooky, cute, and fun Halloween fine art/photography attracts a whole new clientele this time of year, many of which stick around for years to come. Stuff I have to blow the dust from gains new found attention once again, so you know I'm lovin' that. I also love all of the sales that come after Halloween which enable me to stock up on all sorts of props for future use at little cost.

So, every Halloween when that old 'to participate or not' debate is polished up and brought out for dissection, I personally will not participate in that. My motto for neighbors and friends is this- If you want to stop by on Halloween night, there will be entertainment in the form of a children's/adult's costume party where I will have an area set up and dedicated to free portrait photography for all. Spooky, cute, fun...whatever. If you want to turn your lights off and stay home instead, I certainly will not think any less of you. I won't TP your house or anything like that. Honest. ;)

As for me, I'm costume, candy, and party supply shopping this evening!

Treats-

Happy Halloween from Betty Crocker

Spooky Halloween Recipes from Nestlé

Halloween Online for all your Halloween needs.

And last but not least.......

Halloween past-

My cat, Loki, this time last year at just 6 weeks old. He's a versatile animal in the way he makes a nice Halloween cat, portrait subject, cuddle bunny, and kills mice too. Also, makes a sweet Halloween desktop wallpaper so I've uploaded original images that are free of those unsightly copyright watermarks just in case anyone wants to right click and save for that purpose. :)








Update- Costumes half price, yay! I'm a Medieval wench, on discount.

Rat-infested French Jails Likened to 'Dungeons in Middle Ages'

BillyBudd over at American Dinosaur brings something of interest to our attention-

Hypocritical Froggies

"Rat-infested French jails likened to 'dungeons in Middle Ages'


FRANCE'S prisons are the worst in Europe and their cells are akin to dungeons in the Middle Ages, according to a watchdog's report yesterday.

Hygiene is "deplorable", with inmates crowded into filthy, rat-infested cells, leading to an explosion in the number of prisoners with infectious diseases, the International Observatory of Prisons (IOP) said.

It described conditions as "catastrophic" and condemned the French government for failing to improve matters. "The situation is totally unworthy of our level of civilisation. Conditions of detention are close to those of the Middle Ages," the Paris-based IOP said.

It blamed the government's tougher sentencing polices for aggravating chronically bad prison conditions without solving the problem of delinquency.

The report said French jails suffered from overcrowding, bad hygiene, rising violence and suicide rates of more than six times the national average - France has Europe's highest suicide rate among prisoners."

Read more.


Well, well.

How about all the stink made by France over the so-called "poor conditions" at Abu Ghraib? What was the term BillyBudd used?

Ah, yes.

"F&%$ing hypocrites."

I must agree. The stench of hypocrisy is overwhelming.

The Carnival of...Gossip?

Friday @ 8 P.M. EST: It's Ladies' Night at Conservathink!


My submission-

Creating Gossip about Hillary Clinton! Yay!

Since so much attention was given to Karl Rove's so-called ordinary garage, I thought it would be of even more interest for us all to take a peek into Hillary Clinton's closet. Now since our VRWC seems to be a little slow these days and was unable to get this photograph for me, I used my mad Photoshopping skillz instead. Hopefully this photo will generate enough gossip that Damian (who really hot chicks say...rocks!) will allow entrance later tonight.

I'm pretty sure the only rule was a Carnival submission (he never stated that it couldn't suck). Oh, yeah, and actually being a chick. There's that other pesky rule. Looks like you guys are barred from Conservathink after 8 pm. Unless you stop by and post as a bunch of fake chicks, which would be really funny. Now I know none of you, not even the gun molester would do such a thing. ;)

Anyhow, here's to you Hillary. A closet never said more about a gal.

Sex Offender Website - Family Watchdog or Invasion of Privacy?

Go to this site and type in your address (or the address of your school, church, playground, day care center...etc). There will be a map which will come up with a little house on it that represents your house. All of the little colored boxes around your home are registered sex offenders. Red is for offenses against children, yellow/white for rape, blue for sexual battery, and green for other sexual offenses. Just click on a little colored box to be given the exact address of the sex offender as well as additional information on the crime which the individual was convicted, and a photo if one is available.

Arguments against such services range from "people deserve second chances" to "these people (predators) may have received successful rehabilitation" to "invasion of privacy". Blah, blah, blah. Many feel the need to note that every day is full of risks and there is no way to protect yourself or your children from these risks.

Personally, not only do I see this as a legitimate exception to sex offender's right to privacy, I don't really care all that much about the rights of sex offenders at all. Harassing anyone on the offender registry is punishable by both a fine and jail time, this is their protection.

Instead of merely saying "Hey, get used to it, life is full of risks" to law-abiding citizens and their children, we should be saying "Hey, get used to it" to sex offenders themselves. Why not, instead, say to would-be offenders and convicted sex offenders alike: "If you manage to ever become free again, you run the risk of being added to this website where we will establish your whereabouts to better protect society from your criminal sickness forevermore"?

If there are four known child molesters and one known rapist residing within 2-3 miles of my home, I should know it.

Now, thanks to Family Watchdog, I do.

Iraq- A Little Bit Stronger

8.5 million Iraqis challenged not only Zarqawi and former Baathists, but the vast networks of Jihadism and the many dictatorships in the region by casting their votes to select candidates and elect an assembly on January 31, 2005.

Sunni representation was missing. Jihadists and Baathists used all means possible to intimidate moderates. Radical clerics used all influence at their disposal to boycott the Government. Political mistakes were made by both the Shiite-Kurdish and Coalition authorities, which alienated other Sunnis.

However, despite the calls for an emirate by al Qaida and the skepticism of the Arab League, the new republic produced a parliment. That January victory, even with turbulance, laid the groundwork for change in the present political scene in Iraq.

Sunnis saw a new active parliament and a thriving media as political life developed before their eyes. By August 2005, there was a Sunni "position" toward the constitutional debate. Many Sunnis distanced themselves from Zarqawi's "refusal of all constitutions" and chose criticism of the constitution instead.

By participating in the constitutional discussion, many Sunni groups and clerics crossed that line from total boycott to engagement in the political process. Even with a "no" vote cast, we saw them participating in the referendum. An overwhelming majority of Iraqis have put an end to the dictatorial past and rejected the terrorist agenda. In so doing, Iraq's republic grows a little stronger still.

Though difficult times are likely still ahead in this conflict in the Middle East, this October victory will lay the groundwork for even more change in Iraq. Approximately one million more people voted concerning the October 15 referendum than in the January 31 election. This means more people are speaking out against the enemy of democracy.

In my opinion, whether the constitutional referendum passes or fails, that is the sweetest victory of all.

How Sinful Are You?

Yeah, yeah. Another quiz. Normally, I like the quizzes on this particular website, but this one's not helping the ole insomnia one bit.


My results-


"Uber, you're less sinful than the average person."

Yay me! Sounds pretty good so far...

"Still, (uh-oh) your sinful tendencies are running just below the surface and could start to affect your choices in life. For example, your sex drive could ultimately be your downfall. Beware of prioritizing sexual experiences and conquests above other things. These kinds of desires alone should not control your life."

Lies, lies! All deceitful lies! Honest. ;)

"Though you're less sinful than others, this, and the sins you scored highest on can still jeopardize the things that are most important to you. Don't let them."

Well, duh.

Seriously, they're talking about someone who spends time taking their stupid tests when suffering from insomnia (such as now).

There's an exciting path to hell for ya!

The way these questions were asked, nobody wins. Everyone's burnin' with me. Same BS different sins, ya might say.

Still, it could be worse. I could be goin' down for a Mercedes-Benz or a chocolate chip cookie.

So, how sinful are you?

Update I-

I'm not sinful, I'm naughty. Apparently naughty is it's way better than sinful. Because it's funnier.

I'm too cute to be sinful!

So, naughteh it is...er...I mean I am.

Update II-

Since my post on the sinful quiz generated so much reader feedback via email (ok, three) from others (one) riddled with sinfulness (who shall remain nameless but is a yankee, just for the record), I thought the only polite southun thang to do would be to share some tips on how to become less sinful. Especially since I am officially less sinful than the average person.

Becoming Less Sinful or Maintaining Low Sinful Stats- Tips

5. Be aware that not all of that "do unto others" stuff you learned in Sunday School was just a ploy to get you to pick up the doggy poo from your neighbor's yard or mow the preacher's grass.

4. The U.S. is a nation of laws, not suggestions, but laws. Know these laws well and work hard to change those that are unconstitutional. You'll be too busy to sin very much because our elected officials pass oodles and oodles of new laws in awesome fits of whimsy.

3. If you have really sinful friend(s) you might want to think about getting new friends. However, if you're sure to tell these really sinful friends that they are probably going to hell at least once a week, you should still be cool.

2. Know your weaknesses and temptations well. Try to find ways to that are either not sinful or at least not as sinful to help ease the temptations. Example- If you are a total ho, you could limit this temptation to non-public situations and try monogamy even if not marriage.

And perhaps the most successful method of sin reduction is......


1. Choose your sins wisely. Each time you find yourself in or about to be in a sinful situation, stop and think "Do I really want to increase my sinfulness for this?" Example- You wouldn't rob a bank, risking cold hard time, for two cents. Would you?


Hope this helps everyone become less sinful (and maybe just a little naughty, c'mon nobody's perfect), just like me. :)

Excerpts That Amuse

"Harriet Miers donated money to Senator Lloyd Bentsen and the Al Gore campaign in 1988, which to me sounds much like a stomach-turning challenge on a reality TV show. Now, in all fairness, her recent contributions have gone to entities that have been solely Republican and often conservative, and it’s also true that wisdom occasionally attends age. Why, I’m certainly not the same person I was sixteen years ago; I’m far more handsome and charming now. But really, a no-no like donating to Plastic Man? I know not what kind of conversion she underwent, but methinks the expiation of this barely-pardonable sin requires at least a twenty-year exile in a desert."

From Selwyn Duke's As a Matter of Fact, No, I’m Not Happy It’s a Woman.

"Frankly, I think there’s a lot to be said for hatred. For one thing, it’s a very honest emotion. And unlike, say, love, it’s usually hard-earned and completely deserved. Love, on the other hand, can be as brief and fleeting as a snow flake. Bars and taverns, especially right around closing time, are full of people making declarations of deep and abiding love."

From Burt Prelutsky's A Brief on Behalf of Hatred.

"But then the Bolton bombshell hit. Within days of his appointment by President Bush, Ambassador John Bolton called for hundreds of changes to the Summit’s draft agreement, demanding that it focus on reforming the inept UN bureaucracy and countering international terrorism.

That came as bad news to the hairy-leg ladies who care only about abortion services for 12-year-old girls."

From Carey Roberts' Party-Poopers at the UN Birthday Bash.

"Consider the international community and it mouthpiece, world opinion; they do not exist. They are concepts without manifestations, phrases used in lieu of logic, evidence, and law by people who in real life have no idea how their next-door neighbors voted in the last election, yet will confidently summarize the opinions and desires of the other three billion on the planet."

From Terry Graves' Collective Nouns



All found at Intellectual Conservative.

The Alliance of Free Blogs

So you wanna join The Alliance, huh?

You don't even really know why, at first. You just know "everyone else is doin' it" which makes you want to do it too. So you google The Alliance of Free Blogs, see how complicated membership seems, and quickly decide that it is just not for you.

Weeks, perhaps even months pass and you become tempted once again to join The Alliance after constantly hearing phrases like "bags and bags of money", "mucho site hits", and "make lots of new blog friends". You don't really believe any of that crap but after blogging a few weeks, perhaps even months, membership requirements don't seem so daunting. And after all, "everyone else is doin' it". Also, Damian G. of Conservathink (who, apparently according to really hot chicks... rocks!) says, "Just do it!" or something like that.

Yes, I've joined The Alliance. Membership pending but eventual acceptance expected. At first all the requirements made it seem like I was selling my soul to the devil or something equally dramatic but by the end it seemed more like being a circus animal that jumps through hoops, juggles and stuff. I could actually hear that circus tune in my head as I wrapped it all up by emailing BlackFive with a made up Alliance Specialty (which will seem peculiarly familiar to only a few) and befitting photo of myself in order to be listed on The Alliance Team Member Specialties page. Although that last step was purely a suggestion and not a requirement at all, I participated because making stuff up is just so much fun.

Now, all I need to do is just sit back and watch the bags and bags of money, site hits, and shiny new blog buds roll in (riiight).

Not that I'm poor, ya'll are old, and...the opposite of shiny. ;)

Petition to Restore Constitutional Integrity

Signers: 7813 (as of October 11, 2005 9:30 pm and climbing fast)
Update- Signers: 32960 (as of October 20, 2005 7:00 am)


"To President George Bush, Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, House Majority Leader Roy Blunt and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist:

Whereas you have, in some notable cases, neglected your oaths to support and defend the Constitution of the United States; and

Whereas we believe individual liberty and personal responsibility, together with limited government, free enterprise and a strong national defense are the formula that keeps America great; and

Whereas we believe that the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence should and must be returned to their rightful place as the delimiters of Republican government and civil society; and

Whereas we believe that individual liberty rapidly decays into anarchy and corruption without a meaningful commitment to personal responsibility based on our nation's godly heritage, and that traditional beliefs and values must continue to serve as our nation's touchstone and compass; and

Whereas we believe that government that is strong but limited best secures liberty, a notion -- Lex Rex and not Rex Lex -- that guided our Founders in composing the Declaration of Independence and its subsequent guidance, our Constitution; and

Whereas we believe that government that exceeds or dismisses those bounds becomes tyrannical, regardless of the party in power;

We, therefore, declare our commitment to the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence over that of any individual or party.

Furthermore, amid the abuse, neglect and ignorance of the Constitution that permeates American government today, even among those who would call themselves conservative, we call on congressional leaders and President Bush, in their respective branches, to hence forward respect our nation's law by restricting the role of government to that provided in our Constitution, and to ensure appointments to the federal courts will do likewise.

We, the people of these United States, rightfully petition our President, House of Representatives and Senate to restore Constitutional law, and entreat the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches to confine their actions accordingly."



Click here to sign the petition.

Another Meaningless Yet Still Very Amusing Quiz

Found this over at Peakah's Provocations. I too, suffer from "the quiz addiction affliction". This one, I find especially amusing. Could possibly be because the results insinuate that I enjoy slobbering on others.

My results-


What Common Breed of Dog Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks Peakah!

If anyone takes this quiz, be a sweet and share your results. Please. :)

It's the American Spirit, Mister Potato Head

A fellow blogger has brought something on the subject of portrait morphing technology to my attention with his link/comment to my previous post concerning Christopher Columbus.



Insolublog, (witty guy that he is) says-


Liberal morphing technology was used to produce a composite portrait of (fill-in-your-favorite-evil-America-related -white-guy-from-history)

the result is here.


Now, I've some personal experience in not only portrait morphing technology but the early history of this technology as well as indigenous peoples and evil American white guys.



Uber-Conservative Elaborations on the History of Portrait Morphing Technology According to Uber


When I was a young child, indigenous people were unable to afford much in the way of their interests in their children's educations, along with lower income minorities and whites as well. The children attended public (government) schools all over the United States as their parents could not afford private schooling and the evil white guys (mostly Democrats) had forced mandatory compulsory attendance laws onto them.

There were lots of non-indigenous people in the same boat, though most in that sinking ship still seem to have no idea exactly who the evil white guys in America really are. Since the evil white guys (Democrats) had successfully ensured their lack of education through unconstitutional legislation (government education provided by unconstitutional taxation), better educated children were honing their conservative morphing skills of evil white guys (Democrats) with this-













while, being wrongly imprisoned against their will in failing government schools, all the other children had to practice their conservative portrait morphing skills of evil white guys (Democrats) on was this-














*shudder*


Thankfully, many parents got tired of being treated like criminals for merely wanting to provide for their children (at no cost to taxpayers) and decided to take their constitutional rights back. Many went to jail, their children seized and forced back into government schools even after they proved they were able to provide the most superior education available in the U.S. (superior to brick-and-mortar private education even) but they just would not give up and their numbers grew.

In the nineteen eighties, a well educated group of conservatives (totally not evil but mostly white and all Christian lawyers) decided to form a legal defense association, HSLDA, to protect these parents from the evil white guys (Democrats) with the support of other conservatives and conservative Christians (Republicans) and are still working together to protect the parental freedom to provide a superior education to their children (indigenous and non-indigenous alike) to this day.

No thanks to the evil white guys (Democrats) these children have been able to break free and pursue their dream of reading books that aren't ignorant (riddled with fundamental errors & liberal indoctrination), and have avoided having the pinko-commie status quo forced onto them. Along with many other indigenous and non-indigenous children and teens alike, they have received or are receiving an education that's far superior to that which the evil white guys (Democrats) planned on their behalf.

Evil white or any other color guys (Democrats) beware, these folks will have their Mister Potato Head!

Happy Columbus Day

Throughout recent years, the celebration of Columbus Day has been rejected by some people who view it as a celebration of conquest and genocide. In its place, Indigenous Peoples Day is celebrated ad nauseam.

Although Columbus was born in Genoa, by 1492 he had been in Spain for about seven years, and was in effect a Spanish citizen. The idea of spreading Spanish control was central to Spanish culture and the idea that one could arrive at a new country with no strong central government, and not claim such lands for the country one had sworn to support and defend, is foolish. The causes of war are often complex and attempts to personally blame one man for this warfare are ignorant at best. Most people in most societies, including American Indian societies, view killing in wartime as acceptable. This is not morally equivalent to murder, much less genocide.

Furthermore, most of us recognize that many people were in America long before Christopher Columbus. The Asiatics who became American Indians were the first, tens of thousands of years ago. Norse expeditions to North America, starting with Bjarni Herjolfsson in 986, have been well established historically. Many other pre-Columbian discoveries are not well established historically. Similar claims have been made of St. Brendan, Basque fishermen, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, and Carthaginians. Some of these claims could possibly be true but it's more likely that they are false.

Damian G. of Conservathink weighs in on this topic with an interesting perspective which I'd like to post here as well.

There is, however, strong evidence that Europeans crossed the Atlantic around the time the "Indians" crossed the Bering Strait. Since there were glaciers as far south as the English Channel, it is highly probable that they were able to sail along the edge of the ice, thus easing passage to eastern Canada.

Indeed. ;)

In any case, Columbus's discovery of America is justly regarded as the most historically important and will continue to be considered so because unlike all the others, Columbus inaugurated permanent two-way large-scale commerce between the Old World and the New World. Previous discoveries were so insignificant that even the most educated Europeans were not aware of the existence of America prior to Columbus.

Unlike any of his predecessors, Christopher Columbus changed the world.



Suggested reading-

Numbers From Nowhere by David Henige


Another more interesting take on the history of Columbus found over at Dr. Phat Tony's.





Of further interest-




















"Morphed" image of Columbus from eight separate prints.

ABSTRACT
"Since no portraits of the famed discoverer, Christopher Columbus, were made during his lifetime, an analysis of the images used to describe the physical attributes of the man and his place in history is an exercise in cultural relativism. Three time periods veers studied: soon after his death when the public simply needed to know what the explorer looked like, hundreds of years after his explorations when commercial interests used Columbus as a symbol for their own further expansion into unknown territories, and during the present day when a majority of opinion about Columbus and his exploits is severely critical.

Morphing technology was used to produce a composite portrait of Christopher Columbus. This resulted in the portrait shown in Figure 1. Figure 2, referring back to the previous article, illustrates how each "original" portrait shown in the extreme right and left columns was scanned as a PICT file at 72dpi. The images were cropped, flipped (if necessary) and similarly sized using Adobe PhotoShop 2.5.1. Each pair of portraits was then turned into a composite image using the Morph 1.0 program by Gryphon. Morphed pairs were finally combined to make the composite image of Columbus seen in the middle of Figure 2."

What's Happiness Got To Do With It?

Today on Wall Street Journal's OpinionJournal-

Smiley Faces by Tony & Tacky.

"Who are the world's happiest people? According to a new survey by the market research company GfK NOP, Australians and Americans top the list, followed by Egyptians and Indians. It's not clear what led some 30,000 people in 50 countries to say that they were cheerful or, alternatively, disappointed with the way their lives had turned out--Hungarians being the most dismal. A report Wednesday on Rediff.com, an Indian Web site, notes only that while between 46% and 33% of people in the five happiest countries (including Britain and Canada) say they are very happy..."

Rediff.com's Wednesday report went on to say that a separate poll has named Vancouver, Canada the world's best place to live.

All the cities that fell into the top 'liveability' bracket were in Canada, Australia and Western Europe. Melbourne, Vienna, Geneva and Perth made up the rest of the top five.

London came in a low 47th with Dublin and Los Angeles, way behind Paris which ranked 16th.


Jon Copestake, editor of the EIU report, weighs in-

"In the current global political climate, it's no surprise the most desirable destinations are those with the lower perceived threat of terrorism."

Pipe Excerpt and Link

"One would think Mahmoud Maawad, a 29-year-old illegal immigrant from Egypt living in Memphis, Tenn., would lay low and stay out of trouble. But no, he defiantly did just the opposite.

He used a fake Social Security number to open a bank account, arrange for household utilities, and enroll at the University of Memphis business school. He worked off-the-books at a convenience store and in early 2005 sold alcohol to a minor, for which he was arrested. And then, in mid-2005, he ordered US$3,300 worth of airline-related goods from Sporty's Pilot Shop, including such items as an airline pilot's uniform, a flight gear bag, a radio communications handbook, and an instructional DVD titled "How an Airline Captain Should Look and Act."

To top it off, he placed the order on an overdrawn credit card."

Read Stupid Terrorists, by Daniel Pipes, for more examples of stupidity.