Tuesday, October 25, 2005

A Question for the Wise...

...and you people who read my blog too. ;)

What is the single most important change you'd make on behalf of the United States of America if you were in power and/or anyone actually listened to you?

Personally, I'd probably totally abolish Monday, especially after yesterday's "adventures". Monday is and has been out to get me since I learned what the days of the week actually were, but yesterday topped anything I've ever seen or experienced. Sometimes Tuesday or Wednesday gets confused and thinks they're Monday but can normally be slapped back into submission by around noon.

What a typical Monday offers Uber's world-

*Wake late to five hungry cats and two hungry dogs.

*All but one hungry dog (who just wants outside to tinkle and howl) run around my feet, tripping me up, while I try to at least get the coffee started before dealing with them all.

*Dancing around, animals under my feet begging, with a coffee pot full of really cold water that I'm spilling and stepping in, soaking me fluffy warm socks because I was in such a hurry that I forgot to powder mah nose before running to make coffee.

*Decide to feed at least the cats before the powder trip because they'll just follow me and fight with one another on the other side of the door if I'm lucky and make it inside with me to climb to the top of my head if I'm not.

*Dancing around with a 20 pound bag of cat food while two cats put their heads in the bowl making the food spill over them into the floor and the other three fight amongst themselves (they don't all like one another all that well but everybody loves the baby, Magellan because he doesn't care what's done to him. He calls it love and comes back for s'more).

*Skip the usual lesson in kitty tolerance and just start pouring multiple piles of kitty chow here and there all over the clean floor to be cleaned later.

*Run for that powder (at last, at last!) then feed the cocka-poo, Shadow, who smells it, steps back, and sits down pouting for cat food. Remembering the mess in my bedroom floor I decide to just let her pout awhile and fix her up with the forbidden cat food later.

*Walk backwards outside dragging the 30 pound bag of dog food, decide there must be a better way and attempt to throw it over my shoulder once on the porch. Throw it right over my shoulder and over the banister instead, splitting the bag open way too much.

*Carry the food to where the dog bowl is supposed to be, spilling it all the way. See the dog bowl half chewed in the middle of the yard and go to it with the food for some unknown reason instead of the other way around, spilling it all the way.

*Lose grip on the bag, that's split open way too much, while pouring. Burying the doggy bowl with an entire 30 pounds of dog chow.

*Lay the bag down, drop to my knees and start digging for the bowl while one year old Zeke, Australian/German Shep sits by watching with a quizzical eyebrow raised, there be no less than 100 yrs of wisdom and sarcasm in that dog's eyes. I tell him that I wouldn't be looking so superior if my owner had to photoshop my excitement out of every single photo before posting them in the public photo gallery and turn to retrieve the bag in order to salvage at least a little doggy chow before every dog in the neighborhood arrives for breakfast. Look down, no empty bag. See the neighbor's basset hound streaking up the yard with the empty bag. I've never seen this dog streak anywhere, not even when I'm fussing and threatening about the doggy poo in my yard or chewing of things like the grill cover, but streak he did. Don't get me wrong, I love this dog regardless of his driving me mad but he really and honestly isn't normally the motivated sort.

Duke's "I really care" look when I'm stressing and fussing about something he chewed or a smelly gift he left on the lawn-

(On an unrelated note, notice the lawn in the background. That's what happens when you purchase the Murray riding lawn mower which I've griped about before. The deck drags, it's not pretty, the belt also slips off really, really, often.)

*Anywho, two more neighbor's dogs were waiting outside the fence for Duke to arrive with the oh so coveted and yummy bag. Each grabbed a corner of the bag with their teeth and disappeared into the crazy fruit tree people's wooded farm across the road to chew into a million little pieces. And blame it on me, no doubt.

Extra shiny presents that Monday (yesterday) offered Uber's world-

*Woke freezing, the breaker kicked in the middle of the night. Meh.

*Open to empty the new dishwasher that's been working just fine to notice there were still gobs of soap all over and a huge puddle of water on the floor beside. Grr.

*Wash a load of clothes to feel yet some more water soaking into my no longer warm and fuzzy socks in the laundry room as well. Had a real "What the hell is that...what the...(pause to consider another more flowery word)...hell (decided against) is that?!" moment. Grrr!

*Only a hot shower could make me right enough to deal with what was looking like would turn out to be one helluva complicated day so decided to forget everything else and just do that first. Turn on the water, wait patiently on the water to get hot. Get uncomfortably cold while waiting, does it always take this long, I wondered while already knowing the answer. Dance around freezing between testing the ice cold water that I eventually realize will not be getting warm much less hot. Redress, and go back in the laundry room to see that the hot water heater is the source of the water on the floor. At least I know why the breaker kicked, and the dishwasher is an easy fix, just a hose come loose beneath. Can kick all the breakers back on except the one. I have heat, power, water, and hot coffee waiting. It could be worse, really. *sigh*

*Pour one of those ridiculously large coffee cups that look like salad bowls with handles completely full of that steamy life-saving brew, ignore the fact that I spilled a good bit on the counter and dripped all the way to the PC. Who cares at this point. Sit back after getting all comfortable in the brand spankin' new leather chair and hold that big ole cup with both cold hands close to my chest preparing to sip when Magellan lept suddenly from some unknown location, landing onto the back of my chair, causing me to spill it all over my blouse. @&%*...@&%*...@&%*!!!!!!

I survived to tell the tale, thank heavens, though Tuesday has been all about recovering from Monday. Were it not for the need to just abolish Monday, my second choice would be removing all Federal and state involvement (read: control) from education, giving all control back to parents and local communities. The Dept of Education would be completely dissolved, subversive teacher's unions would eventually belly-up and disband. The less wealthy of this nation would once again be as well educated as they were (through parental control/involvement and community control/involvement) before the creation of the failing government schools. I understand that many honestly hope that public education will offer equal opportunity but it hasn't and will never. Children of public schools have merely become more equal in the lack of opportunity as well as equally uneducated.

Again, I ask (just in case the ranting above caused numbing of the mind yet did not cause blindness), what is the single most important change you'd make on behalf of the United States of America if you were in power and/or anyone actually listened to you?

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