Sunday, November 27, 2005


In a move undoubtedly applauded by the Church of Scientology, Tom Cruise bought a sonogram machine for his pregnant fiance Katie Holmes so that they can constantly monitor the whereabouts of their unborn child. Rumor has it that the sonogram machine fits perfectly beside the E-meter which will be hooked to the child soon after birth to assist in his or her spiritual and ethical education, so that he or she may achieve a greater level of spiritual awareness and effectiveness in the physical world. Like this, this or maybe even this.


TORONTO (Reuters)- "Canadian inmates can now get tattoos in prison parlors under a pilot program aimed at cutting down use of unclean needles and the spread of disease.

The Canadian government showed off its tattoo parlor program on Thursday at a prison in Bath, Ontario, where it is being tested."

The eventual costs of tatoo removal for prisoners who change their minds about such body modifications is unknown as the tatoo removal program (also likely to be at tax payer expense) has not yet been created.


NAQOURA, Lebanon (Reuters) - "Israel returned on Friday the bodies of three Hizbollah guerrillas slain in a fierce border clash this week, a move aimed at easing tensions on the volatile Lebanese-Israeli border.

Three coffins carrying the bodies were wrapped in Hizbollah's yellow-and-green flags after the Red Cross handed them over to the Lebanese side at the frontier town of Naquora in south Lebanon.

A brass band played Lebanese and Hizbollah anthems as guerrillas saluted the dead fighters. Scores of people, including families of the men and Hizbollah officials, were at the border to receive the bodies.

"Death to America, death to Israel," they chanted."

I guess it's a good thing the generous gesture eased tension or they might have been flinging their explosive laden selves at Red Cross workers while chanting death threats.

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