Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Random Grandma Quote Turned Story

Since my grandma had to go to the doctor for a flu shot today, and apparently this is a very exciting event at 83, inspiring one to still be up at 2am in the morning showing yours truly different outfits that one may or may not wear to the exciting event even while exclaiming how much one dreads it as I lay in bed mumbling "loosh good, loosh good" with one eye half open, I have absolutely no idea what to post today...except...A Random Grandma Quote Turned Story!

Grandma on relationships-

Men are bossy, there's just no getting around it. That's the way God made them and they're never going to change. There's just no use in arguing with them and it's not right to do so either. You just smile and nod. Then do what you want as soon as they go on. That's how I always handled your grandpa.

Like that time he told me I couldn't cut my hair. About 3 years after I told him I wanted to and he said no, I just went right on ahead and did it. I had hair down to my butt and it was thick and heavy like Indian women. You know my daddy was more than half Indian. He had dark skin, a shock of thick black hair and steel blue/gray eyes. Everyone says I look just like him. Your grandpa always said I had the meanest eyes he ever saw. Anyhow, I don't know if what they say about Indians not being able to handle liquor is true or not but he sure couldn't drink much. Not that I ever saw him drinking, mind you. That's just what I heard. He did keep some moonshine hidden under the house though. It was the nastiest stuff I ever tasted in my life. Me and my sister used to steal a little and then fall down laughing in the field until it wore off.

All my boys look lots like my daddy, you know, I had 7 kids. Kids sure aren't responsible like they used to be when I was growing up. Of all my kids I don't have a favorite even though everyone says my son, who's in the Air Force, is my favorite. He's such a good boy, he reminds me most of my daddy. My daddy was a bossy man but he didn't get too much over on my mom. He worked hard and didn't get drunk and come home being silly like some men do. He only drank occasionally while out with friends and never came home after because my mom told him she'd kill him if he did. He didn't like to be away from her for very long, could be because his friends teased him about sneaking to see her as soon as he passed out. She was an awfully pretty woman. Green eyed, red haired, and as Irish as the day is long.

Anyhow, after I got my hair cut I went and bought myself a bright red rain coat and matching lipstick, went to the pub where your grandpa was having a drink and sat down right beside him at the bar. He didn't even recognize me and offered to buy me a drink. When I started giggling he sure recognized me. Almost fell off his stool. All considered, he couldn't really fuss about my hair or say that it didn't look good. All he could do was offer to take me out to dinner. Ha!

The previous story told to anyone who mentions the word men and women in the same sentence but primarily saved for magazine salesmen and women. Take that, irritating people...who sale magazines!

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