Saturday, August 06, 2005

Words of Wisdom

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
~Joey Adams

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
~Evan Davis

Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired.
~Robert Frost

When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
~Lenny Bruce

Communism is like one big phone company.
~Lenny Bruce

How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
~Ronald Reagan

A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
~Rita Rudner

When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
~Marquis de la Grange

A diplomat... is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
~Caskie Stinnett

Never eat more than you can lift.
~Miss Piggy

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
~Emo Phillips

Ya'll have a great weekend! :)


Insolublog said...

Rita Rudner always reminded me of a female version of Steven Wright.

Dr. Phat Tony said...

The Reagan quote was the best.

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

What insol said!

Doc is right, the Reagan quote rocks.
I'm going to use that one.
Of course, with a hat tip to you! :)

Uber said...

Thanks CUG...I third Insolu's take on Rita *g*

And absolutely *everything* about Reagan is *always* best.